IMPORTANT DAY - NOT GOOD BUT SOOOO IMPORTANT!!!

Ok, I must never forget this day. This is the day that my children (well child, Grace) realized that I looked "different" than other people. Different in the way our bodies look. Let me paint the picture:

Watching Nickjr, 4:20 pm, when a Fresh Beat Band song comes on. I am usually in the habit of dancing to their songs, I like the choreography. Gracie turns to me toward the end of the song and says "Mommy, you're thick". I look confused and say "what do you mean, Gracie". She says "those people, the Fresh Beat band are like this" and holds up her hands to signify "thin" (you know, almost like praying position). I say "you mean thin?" and she says "yeah, they're thin and you're thick. And I'm thin, and Fay is thin".

Of course, non of this is said in malice, she just said it matter of fact, with no emotion, just observation.

Now this doesn't sound like much on paper, but it is EXTREMELY significant in my world now. My daughter has finally noticed that I don't look like the other thin people that she sees everyday. She'll start to notice that I don't look like her teacher, or like the other moms. Then she'll start wondering why I don't look like them. It doesn't matter to her that I don't, but she'll wonder out of curiosity.

THIS IS WHERE IT MUST END. THE JIG IS UP. EVERYTHING THAT I DO FROM NOW ON IN REGARDS TO EATING IS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE IF I WANT MY DAUGHTERS TO HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD.

Thank goodness I have already started Weight Watchers again, I'm definitely considering going to the meetings, since they are so close. But my budget will have to determine if this is possible.

I want my children to feel proud of me, to see me feel good about myself and my body. This is life changing stuff here! Of utmost importance! Don't forget this day!!!!